Hari Kondabolu tells a feminist dick joke.
So I thought I should let everyone know that I’m in love, no big deal.
excuse me but
this man has impaired my judgement
This whole set is fantastic.
I need to find more of this guy’s stuff.
Hari is a gentleman and a genius.
Just fantastic. 1:47
When I was a kid my Dad came upon a truckload of cellophane and he wanted me to help him sell it. So I was taking it to the kids at school, trying to sell it to my teachers. I went and stood in front of the supermarket. I had a fantasy that one day someone would buy all of it. That some guy would just come along and be like ‘I’ll take em all’ It never happened. So I was walking out of Ralph’s one day and I saw these kids trying to sell these cookies and I was like yeah, I’ll take them all. So I bought hundreds and hundreds of boxes. I didn’t realize how many boxes I was going to have. I had a car full of them. I didn’t know what to do so I started just like throwing them out the window to people on the street. [*]
S: Remind me I have something to give you
S: Don’t worry it’s not like a pregnancy test
Me: Ah don’t worry I already tested negative last week
S: Wait…. really??
kidding folks, kidding. later:
S: One day you are going to actually be pregnant and I won’t believe it because you are the girl who cried wolf
oh man I hope not.
“You smell like a giant Bounce sheet!”
-Kim, digging the fragrance
filed under: yesssaccomplishment lifegoalrighthere
Guess who wants to see this movie.
banana-ah-ah (ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-nana) potato-na-ah-ah (ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-nana) banana-ah-ah (ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-nana)
togari noh pocato-li kani malo mani kano chi ka-baba, ba-ba-nana
yoh plano boo la planonoh too ma bana-na la-ka moobi talamoo
ba-na-na ba-ba (ba-ba-ba-ba-banana) POH-TAAA-TOH-OH-OH (ba-ba-ba-ba-banana)
togari noh pocato li kani malo mani kano chi ka-ba-ba, ba-ba-naNAAAHHHH!!!
I’m leaving the building, black stripper heels dangling from my fingers because nope, definitely not walking back to my apartment in those. Very conscious that I am wearing last night’s clothes, I keep my head up and smile because well, damn straight. My bare feet grip every crack in the sidewalk, probably pick up every piece of dirt along the way. And I spot this girl just a few yards from where I am, coming towards me. She’s tan and wearing a cute top and jeans; I can’t tell if she’s doing the same as me or going somewhere respectable. It’s a little too early to be going anywhere on a Saturday morning. And then I spy the (awesome) nude heels in this stranger’s hand, a basic mirror reflection of me, and I can just imagine how I look with the stilettos and black skirt. And we both break out into huge smiles as we walk toward each other barefoot. And as I get closer, she raises her arm and we high-five, hard. Laughing too hard with more pride than shame, bonded by this little exchange, the unspoken acknowledgement that we are both returning from something else. This girl made my morning.
So this is kinda late but so, so good haha. Deadmau5 and Skrillex at the Grammys.
On another note, I am incredibly jealous that I am not at Dance Marathon right now (regretting that decision just a little bit but had eh variety of reasons) and SO excited to be there at 3 am, gettttttt it.
(Photo via 9gag, I know ew)
Oh my god. Perfect show. Love Julianna Margulies.
Julianna: I got this letter that it said: “Why don’t you just call it ‘The good slut’?” I walk down the street and there are a lot of people saying: “Don’t go with Will, you are cheating on your husband!!” And it is amaaazing to me that in…2012…I’m like: “Have you seen the show? He fucks whores! Not just hookers, people we worked with; and, by the way, I left him!!” What?? And she is the slut!? That’s what shocks me the most about our world. Most of the letters that come in are from christians, people that see a woman who is still married, who is not legally divorced so it doesn’t matter what the husband has done or that she is having this affair even though they are separated.
AHAHAHAHAHA OH MY GOD THERE ARE NO WORDS
A play-by-play of Harvard grad Jeremy Lin and Stanford grad Landry Fields’ new handshake:
- Two quick high fives on opposite hands.
- Landry Fields presents his hands to Jeremy Lin as though they are a book.
- Lin “pages” through the book.
- Fields closes the book.
- Both Lin and Fields put their hands to their eyes as though they are glasses.
- Both players “remove” their glasses and put them into an invisible shirt pocket.
The addition of two smarty-pants cuties on the Knicks is making me interested in the NBA.
Our rushed conversation as the rain pitter-patters around us
H: Can I just say one last thing before you leave?
Me : Yeah what?
H: You look really good today.
Me, laughing: Stop. Shut up, I’m leaving now.
filed under: defnottrue butitmakesmesmileanyways