pixie sticks and magical wishes

Just set up gas and electric for my apartment. Not that big of a deal, but it seemed way too adult-esque. No questions, just a few 15-minute phone calls. It’s a little alarming that we’re trusted to be adults, responsible and capable of taking care of ourselves. We’re trusted to not get into accidents while driving, to pay our bills on time, to use our minds properly and vote, to grow up in some straightforward sense of the word. Oh boy.

I am moving. In less than a week. (did I mention I currently have no furniture)

Wait what? Can’t stop smiling.

M breaking the bro code just a little bit. But not even true, because I’m a bro too (“Noo, that’s the ‘ho code” … thanks mlee.)

Not a big thing at all. And I kind of didn’t believe what he said, still don’t (I fully deny that I am incapable of accepting compliments … uhmm) but it made me smile. Loved that moment.

If I were going to give you advice for the coming year, “you” meaning my exciting, new editor babies, these are a few of the things to know. 

There are going to be terrible days. Days where you want to break down crying, days where you get far too disillusioned, days where input does not seem to equal the perhaps lackluster output. 

You get asked a lot (of you. wow terrible sentence). Expectations are above and beyond. Know that there is a limit, because you’re human, and racing around (to get victims at the hospital, natch…or you know, other examples) sometimes doesn’t work or isn’t worth it. A lot of this work is rising above what is asked, and knowing that that’s taken for granted (just a little bit). But that’s what makes the job so unbelievably cool and fulfilling. You sometimes get a product that completely surpasses your expectations.

Don’t forget your goals and expectations. It’s easy to feel defeated or to just try to get through it, one day at a time. And that’s okay, sometimes only thinking about the next day’s work makes it easier to handle. But don’t forget your long-term goals. Because those really cool projects, those are the things you’ll remember and be proud of at the end of the year.

“You do more good than harm.” (This thought I shamelessly stole from an embarrassing TV show, but I’ve been thinking about this line of reasoning for awhile.) Remember this. Because you put out great coverage every day, and unbelievably impressive work on special days. Because there’s a lot of people who read what you write, who think about your words, who make decisions based on the coverage you provide. It may not seem like it now (and I certainly didn’t believe this during the year) but it’s a significant job and there’s a massive influence.

There’s so much more I have to say. I promise, letters coming to you sometime before the school year starts.

For those of you whom this whole post doesn’t apply to (first, I don’t know why you’re reading this): this might be too vague and confusing for you to follow, sorry that was intentional since I don’t know who’s reading this. There is so much more happy than what I’ve depicted here (these are just a few things, as I said above). It’s easy to remember the bad versus the good. And this shouldn’t reflect badly on the job or on the publication. Because a lot of this was about me and this year, how I dealt with things and how things changed.

-Alex. brilliant new friend. (and spot-on observation about S)

-Vbee, in her infinite wisdom. A response to my grumbling about how change is hard.

“I know she knows that I’m not fond of asking
True or false it may be
She’s still out to get me
I know she knows that I’m not fond of asking”

One of my favorite songs. Thank you, the Kooks.

On a completely separate note (my soundtrack is not representative of my current state), I’m not at all packed. And I’m worried. Because I have so many crazy, way-too-big plans for this summer and so many things are currently up in the air. And writing it here just makes it even more significant and pressing. But it is. Panicking. Instead, I should be fixing this problem. And packing. That is far more pressing.